Philosophy of a Bachelor Party

Most women don't really get the bachelor party. They don't understand the rationale behind it. But, to be completely honest...I don't think most guys do either.

Most guys use it as an excuse to do all the things they want to do, but can't or won't because they can't properly explain it to those they care about. This isn't really all so bad. The mainstays of a bachelor party - strippers (either in a club or a private show), drinking to the point of sickness and passing out, and all sorts of other frivolity - aren't exactly things most guys are happy to admit to, even if they do indeed enjoy it. The bachelor party gives them an out - the all too familiar peer pressure excuse.

But, it's not the worst excuse either. Bachelor parties are all about the single man. Those things are staples of the single life. The night is supposed to be about men being men. Not partaking in these things can be a very big hit to your self-image as a man. Especially if you've been in couples coma for too long. Not going out, not having weekends with the guys, and dare I say some onset of monogamy monotony. Not that these things are necessarily bad. But, having a good long weekend of these things can be just the thing a guy needs to remember who he is...as a man.

As cheesy as that sounds, it's true. Guys can easily forget who they are, separate from their significant others. They become the Bennifer, the Brangelina, the lame two-person-as-one. Not that it's a bad thing for the guy either. Guy friends are awesome, the best! But there's always one things guys like more...and except for a minority born with a different disposition, only a woman can give it to them. And they seem to require a bit more constant attention. Small price to pay for what you get in return.

This brings us to the reason for this diatribe...the Brandon Block bachelor party. As I've mentioned, bachelor parties follow a pretty regular script. One night, the best man gets all of the groom-to-be's best friends together for a night of drinking, strippers, and stupidity. It's supposed to be a vision of what the guy will be missing when (if?) he gets married and throws it all away. To take a quote from one of the greatest bachelors of our time, Dr. Gregory House, M.D., "If what you do before the marriage is the same as what you do after the marriage, the ceremony and commitment itself has no meaning." You MUST do stupid stuff you shouldn't do in a commitment as a show of reverence to what you are giving up for the woman you want to marry. To show that the commitment really means something.

Britten, Beto, and Diesel say 'Hi!'

At least, that's the big idea. But what if those things aren't really something the groom-to-be is really going to miss? What if strippers and strip clubs and dumb bimbos aren't really the guys cup of tea? What then? You might think that this doesn't happen very often, but it's strangely common. The last two bachelor parties I've been to (and probably the next one I go to) will have this strange conundrum. So what do you do?

It's surprisingly easy. You find out what the groom-to-be really enjoys, what he really loves about being out and about without the misses, and give him an overload of it! Show him that if you get married, you'll still be able to do the things he loves. He just won't be able to do it on a grand scale very often. That he must sacrifice the amazing all out weekend. So that's what we did. [Ed. No this is not everything we did. I'm just going to select the key activities that are A) important to my point and B) least embarrassing to explain.]

Poker and Beer

Leaving Friday afternoon, we set out for Lake Superior. Arriving meant the drinking. It meant some poker, too. An amazing night was had. But, that wasn't enough! We could do this anytime...and have for that matter. We must stay up all night! Like we used to before living with girlfriends, graduating college...before growing up essentially. So we did.

Now, Brandon likes fishing. Loves the outdoors, really. So, we could just go fishing. Again, not thinking big enough! So, our best man, Matt "Diesel" Winegar found the perfect "Think Big" activity. Charter fishing for trout and salmon on Lake Superior. Great fishing...good times. Can't fit 9 people on one boat, so 5 went with one and 4 went to the other. If feel bad that Beto picked the wrong boat - his caught only 6 for 5 people; the other caught 17 for 4 people, but then again, his boat had the beer on board. So maybe it was a wash. This was, however, the perfect example of an activity fit for a bachelor party. Not something you would normally do, not something a guy with a serious relationship would do otherwise, but still an amazing trip.

FisherMEN

The next morning, Beto did join us for a golf outing. What we realized, while we were out, was that this was much better than some simple golf outing. If we tried to put this event together like a normal golf session, we'd be split up. You can't have 6-8 people golfing in one group on any legitimate golf course. You have to be in groups of three or four. But on this little, neglected, "executive" course...we could all play together. And, with no one else in sight, we could play any way we wanted. Another perfect activity.

Beto drives

So, what have we learned?

First, I think, is that you HAVE to do this over a weekend, not just one night. One night doesn't do justice to what the goal is supposed to be. One night doesn't leave enough time to do all the things you can do to make the weekend legendary. And, one night leaves to much room for error - if one activity goes wrong, that may be a good 25-33% of the activities. That can ruin, or at the very least tarnish, an otherwise good bachelor party.

Second is that it is NOT necessary to include activities of the risque variety. If that is something the gentleman in question enjoys, then by all means include them. But, if it's not enjoyable, it isn't essential or even encouraged to include them. Something else can be arranged that will be just as enjoyable. Which brings me to my third lesson.

Enjoyment is key, not activity. It doesn't really matter what you do. It only matters that everyone (though especially the man of honor) have a good time. Neh! Have a GREAT time. This is the most important lesson. Find out what the guy likes. Do it to an EXTREME level, a level at which the guy is not likely to have again. This will be the lasting impression. This will be the example of commitment he will show to the love of his life.

Beto's having fun

And, ladies. Please remember - regardless of all the things he may/may not do that you will disapprove of, he (AND his friends) are showing you what he is giving up to be with you. As strange as it sounds...he's showing you how much he loves you. Showing you that he is happy to CHOOSE you...even over fun he might have without you. He's saying that YOU make him happy. Happy enough to say that it is more than what his friends can give him.

Beto and Missy

That's gotta be one hell of a commitment...because this weekend was DAMN fun.